Why is there an art teacher in Middle Earth?
by songelf88 and G.H.S. the warg
Summary: Why o why did the mental ward let them go? AN Art teacher and two 14 year olds are sucked through a computer right into Rivendell. Wait why is a teacher here? Hey!
1. THEY GOT THERE HOW?

Hello I'm back!!! But this time I have help!! This story is co-authored by my friend Karina. Her pen name is gilglos. But that's beside the point. Disclaimer I OWN LOTR!!! Mwahahahahahahahaha *Lawyers drag her off to court.* Ok so maybe I don't but I can dream can't I?  
It was a normal day in art class. Mr. Heart was giving a speech on how we couldn't use the razor blades as tooth brushes, again. Karina was working on her Legolas sculpture and Miranda was trying to confuse Mr. Heart with obscure quotes from LotR. It wasn't working as usual.  
  
Miranda and Karina decided to stay after class and annoy Mr. Heart for no particular reason. The, oh so wonderful, art teacher was tuning them out. Again. He went over to his computer and turned it on. But when he reached E- bay the manic laughing of the girls turned into awe (yeah right). The three of them were sucked into the computer screen. (Like we didn't see that coming.) Miranda and Karina had their purses and Mr. Heart had nothing aside from the clothes on his back.  
  
"Where in the world are we? Wait us? Of all the people why did I get stuck with you?" That was our intelligent teacher. Isn't he so loveable?  
  
"Hey! Look what I found! I found it in my purse!" The wonderful Miranda said. She then pulled out her guide to Tolkien languages out of her purse along with her Tolkien A-Z book.  
  
"Lovely. Why didn't you think of that before?!" The normal, sane (HEY) ok insane Karina (thank you) smacked Miranda upside her head. It was at that moment Mr. Heart noticed where they were.  
  
"Girls look." He said. He was pointing to a waterfall and many little houses. We were at Rivendell.  
  
"Cool Elrond*, ducky** look!" Karina, gotta love her. "It's the Last Homely House!"  
  
"Yes dear Watson! I have also come to that conclusion." Miranda cried as elves surrounded them.  
  
"Indeed." Was the only word our favorite teacher uttered before the elves bound and gaged us to take us to lord Elrond.  
Well what do you think? Love it hate it? Review and tell us! *We (Karina and I) call Mr. Heart lord Elrond.  
  
** WE are not sure what I am but we are sure that I am not human. We have come to the conclusion that I am an immortal Human-elven duck. Don't ask how we got there it is a long story. 


	2. WHo are they? HOW MANY ELRONDS ARE THERE...

Welcome to chapter two WOW YOUR STILL READING!!!! It's a miracle! Any how on with the story!!!  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own LotR. *Sends glares at the disappointed lawyers.*  
  
Cast: The Queen of the Immortal Elven Human Ducks AKA Miranda Lord Elrond of the art room of organized chaos. AKA Mr. Hart. The Dazzling Star of the insane population of Earth and queen of band-aid land AKA Karina. Unimportant people: Camera man, scrip writer, director and the elven extras.  
CHAPTER 2  
  
Our three heroes were taken to the main receiving hall of Lord Elrond of Rivendell. (NO NOT Mr. Hart. Stay with me here people) The Lord of Imladeris looked at the new comers and spoke very fast in elvish to the rude people who brought them in.  
  
"Come on Ducky!! Translate!!" Karina was yelling at Miranda. The one who was most fluent in the language. Yet she still stunk.  
  
"Sorry but all I got out of that conversation was Greetings my lord and good bye and what I think might be my pants are on fire." Miranda look fearfully at Karina. The little demon (HEY) I mean wonderful little creature, looked at Miranda like she was crazy then smacked poor Miranda up side the head. Miranda retaliated with a Dia naa lle!*  
  
"Lord Elrond help!! Ducky is yelling at me in elvish!" Karina yelled and ducked behind the art teacher.  
  
"Miranda! Karina! Do you realize where you are? You are in Rivendell! Miranda don't you have shaving cream in your purse?" Mr. Hart was frustrated, the girls caused mischief where ever they went and for once he didn't have to clean up the mess they made of his art room. He was rejoicing.  
  
A look of pure bliss and a brief (very brief) look of intelligence crossed Miranda's face and she once more dug around in her bottomless pit of a purse. She returned to the world with a sample size bottle of shaving cream that never seemed to run out, thanks to pure dumb luck.  
  
"Come dazzling star! We have work to do!" She called dramatically.  
  
"Yes! You have shaving cream! I think a theme song sing along is in order!" Karina replied.  
  
"Of course! And what better place than Rivendell herself to sing it!" Miranda cried. Together they sang. (To the tune of bonjure in Beauty and the Beast. Disney)  
  
"Little Rivendell, such a Peaceful village Every day like the one before! Lord Elrond, such a scornful flag bearer Waking up to say. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There goes Rina and Miranda! Ect. (for full song please read it in my bio. To lazy to type the whole thing in.)" As their melodious (that's a laugh) Ok off tune voices faded in the distance Mr. Hart looked at his name sake and wondered what he had gotten himself into.  
HAHAHAHAHA chapter two complete. Before you ask yes Mr. Hart is a real art teacher at Hoover middle school. Where Karina and Myself currently attend. But only for a few more months then it's off to terrorize the high schools!! Mwahahahahahahahaha! Please review. GHS is hungry and Rina is visiting. You know how hungry burra-hobbits get. ( GHS is a warg.)  
  
Shhhhhhhhhh they don't know that  
  
(It's in your name ducky)  
  
I knew that! I was just testing you.  
  
(sure you were.) * dia naa lle means your head is empty in elvish. 


	3. Oh hail the nameless chappter

OK I know you have all been waiting with baited breath so here it is the wonderful chapter 3!!!!  
  
CHAPTER 3:  
  
Lord Elrond (the art teacher this time) Looked upon the face of Lord Elrond (the real one) and wondered what the heck he was going to do when who should come back but the partners in crime Miranda and Karina!  
  
"Quick Lord Elrond!" Screamed Miranda as she ran for her life from very angry shaving cream covered elves. "Translate what their saying!" She tossed him her language guide and she and her partner in crime ran faster.  
  
"Hurry Oh lord of the art room of organized chaos! This one's got a bow! And I don't mean a ribbon!" Shouted Karina as she and Miranda ran circles around Mr. Hart. *then the author decided that the poor innocent girls would be able to torture the elves better if the elves could understand them. So Elrond speaks English.*  
  
"Stop! Who are you and from whence did you come?" Lord Elrond demanded. (Elf not art teacher) this was the question Miranda was waiting for.  
  
"I am Miranda Queen of the immortal Elven human ducks and heir to the throne of the land of lost sanity! My companions are Lady Karina, the dazzling star of the insane population and the queen of band-aid land, And Lord Hart-Elrond of the art room of organized chaos! We are half-witted and weary travelers who have no clue how we got here, no clue how to get home and, in the case of Lady Karina and I, have nothing better than to annoy the Mandos out of you." Now of course she said this rather dramatically and almost every elf in the room was rather confused. Mr. Hart was sitting on the floor with his head in his hands and Karina was singing their theme song at the top of her lungs and laughing hysterically. (Don't ask how she just was)  
  
"Have rooms made for our royal guests and for valor's sake get the can of unknown substance away from Queen Miranda!" Elrond was royally pissed off and fighting a major migraine. (Can Elves even get Migraines?) After the shaving cream was taken from Miranda our three heroes were led to their own rooms. Karina's and Miranda's had and adjoining door. A feature they both laughed over later.  
  
If the girls had any say in it Imladeris would never be the same.  
  
Like? Hate? Well Review and tell me! Sorry for the hold on the other stories but I wanted to get this out. At the moment I have four muses working around the clock to bring you this story! They are: GHS and his girlfriend GHSP. My brother's dragon RS and Gilglos's muse Rina the burra- hobbit! Be grateful and feed them reviews. 


	4. Well this is a waste of space

And now the long awaited chapter 4!! Dun dun dun. *a/n the words in () are Karina talking. Thought you ought to know.*  
  
As the two Lord Elronds (huh? I'm confused. Again.) were talking, Miranda and Karina were trying to out evil laugh each other.  
  
"Lord Elrond! Who sounds more evil, DS or me Queen ducky?" Miranda asked. (DS?) *new nick name* (oh ok) Lord Elrond (real not art) looked at them like they were crazy. Lord Elrond (art) didn't even respond.  
  
"Lord Elrond-Hart! Who sounds more evil? DS or me?!" Miranda called while waving her hand in her art teacher's face.  
  
"Who What Where?" Mr. Hart started too looked wildly around as if he had just woken up. Karina, seeing what he was staring at started to giggle furiously. She whispered in Miranda's ear and they both ran off with strange objects in their hands. (Strange objects? As in what?) *be patient young padwan learner.*  
  
And now to be evil I will end this chappie here with a little thanks to Celtic Dawn Star for kicking my lazy muse in gear! You get.to try to guess what Mr. Hart was staring at! And to answer the question before it is asked, no Mr. Hart does not know about this story, nor will we tell him. Gilglos*grins evilly and sneaks off.* 


End file.
